No More Counting

I was happy when the humans washed me. My fur was getting stuck together and itching like crazy. The food was nice too. But I didn’t much like staying in that little room with the bars. I’ve no idea why they kept me there. Why they kept any of us. I think they wanted to look after us. Well, most of them. I didn’t trust the young one. We called him Long Face. His smile wasn’t nice. It wasn’t real, except for when he did things when the other humans weren’t looking, like poking and kicking us, or putting leaves in a little white stick and breathing it in. I could sniff it inside his body. They should have washed him too, because he smelled more than me. Saffie hated him. He would make her cry. Poor Saffie. All she wanted was for someone to love her. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Before, I loved the freedom outside, on my own, except for when the humans in the white thing would chase me. I went where I wanted whenever I wanted. I enjoyed sleeping in the sun and running along the sand with the wind on my face. The friendly man at the food place fed me every day. He had the best food. Only me and my friend Buddy knew about it. The humans must’ve loved it as well because his home was always full of them, eating, talking, laughing.

The lady who lived free like me also fed me when she could. She understood. She also smelled like not washing, but it was nice, not like Long Face. She would talk and talk to me. She knew everything. I loved her face, but sadness hid in her eyes. She wouldn’t let the other humans see. Only me.

Everything changed when Buddy died. He was old. He told me to do something better with my life. He said he couldn’t figure his destiny out, so plodded along with life. I thought that was what we all did. I told him he was being silly, and that we were doing just fine. But I soon kinda realised what he meant. I worked out why the free lady was sad, and I began to feel it when the humans kept away from me like they did her. Even the dogs they kept tied to them wouldn’t talk to me. I never could work out why they wanted to be tied like that.

None of that bothered me before old Buddy died, but I started to question the purpose of my life and counted each passing moon. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there was more. Hopefully something good. That was when they got me. The people in the white thing. They took me to the cages for humans to look at. Some of the others got taken away with them. Hope went. She cried when they took her, which made me cry. Frankie went as well. He somehow knew what was happening and wasn’t bothered. In fact, when he left, his tongue hung out and flapped to the side towards us.

I was scared at first there. The noise was too much. Some of the others were angry. Really angry. Some were sad, and others scared like me. Alfie was crazy. I loved Alfie. He was always chatting and laughing. Adonis hated him. Thought he was annoying. Saying that, Adonis hated all of us. Even the humans. Especially Long Face. I think Adonis was angry about being the smallest out of us all.

Humans didn’t want me. Maybe because of my messy fur, or because I didn’t show interest. I must admit, I was secretly curious. I wanted to know what they were doing and where they were going. Anything to get out of that little cage. Also, a part of me hoped that I could be free again.

Everything became clear one day. Two big humans arrived with a small one. They called her Destiny. I was almost sleeping, but something about Destiny made me jump to my paws to watch her. She didn’t speak at all. Didn’t smile either. She only pointed at things, with her finger out straight and stiff. She pointed at all the cages, then put all her fingers up. ‘Yes, ten. Well done, sweetie,’ said the smaller human. The big humans and Long Face walked her round to each cage, starting with Saffie. The big humans pointed to us as well to make her see, but she didn’t see. Each time, all she did was hold her finger out straight again and touch each bar, saying numbers. It was the first time she spoke. When she got to my cage, she didn’t touch my bars. She put her hands down. We both stood still, staring at each other. All the noise around us went to a faraway place. My tail spun and I stepped forward. I needed to help her. Wanted to make her smile. She looked to her humans for the first time. They smiled. I’ll never forget those smiles. Real ones, not like Long Face’s. Even then, when he smiled with them, I didn’t believe him.

***

Destiny is sitting with her food in front of her. Her lips have gone tight. Mum was waiting next to her but is now edging away. She keeps looking back at Destiny. I can smell her worry. ‘It’s okay, Destiny,’ she says. ‘There were only four nuggets left. You’ll just have to pretend there’s five today.’

Destiny shakes her head. She points her finger out stiff at the food and says her numbers. ‘One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four.’ She’s getting louder and louder. Her eyes are getting wider and wider.

I walk to her and rest my head on her leg, hoping to get her eyes on mine. It works. She looks at me. Her numbers get quieter and quieter. Then they stop. She smiles and holds my head in both hands, then scratches behind my ears. I lean into it and my ears flop.

She now picks up her scrapy things and starts to eat.

‘Good girl, Destiny,’ says Mum. She rubs my head and walks out.

Destiny doesn’t look at her. I think she’s saying her numbers in her head.